A letter to you at 1 year old

So teddy, who are you at 12 months?

 I was just lying here thinking how strange it is that I feel I know you so well and yet I’ve never had a conversation with you. Of course I know all your baby but I feel I know you beyond that , That I understand the person you will always be. That’s not to say that there won’t be surprises but I feel I totally get your spirit. That you are already a fully formed 

The thing that impresses me the most right now is how quick to recover you are. It’s like you’re so eager to be happy that anything that gets you down, you’re instantly working on brushing it off and getting back to happiness. The health Visitor asked me if you “usually manage to calm yourself after an upset within 30 minutes” and honestly the longest I’ve ever seen you be sad for is about 3! Not that I would ever mind how you express yourself or for how long but I think it bodes well that your default setting seems to be that you can pick yourself up and carry on. Life has already thrown you some big curve balls and will continue to do so, as it does for everyone, I hope you always meet everything with the resilience you’ve shown so far.

You’re constantly walking. You hardly sit or lay down. You move with purpose- it always looks like you’re going about doing an important task. It’s like you’re perfectly happy but you just don’t have time to stop and chat, there’s a job to be done- right now that job is picking off all the glow in the dark stars I’ve stuck onto your drawers- so I think it’s safe to say whoever it is you work for, I’m not the boss! Oh and every time you walk you need to have something in your hand. A shoe, a dustpan and brush, a little pot of ginger, the other shoe, your soiled nappy- all things we’ve had to pry from your hands this morning.  

You are on the verge of talking. Joe is going to claim forever more that his name is your first word. I’m not sure if it counts but you are saying it with increasing conviction and appropriateness. You’re definitely learning to dance- you’re a head banger, a body rocker a thump master. The rhythm takes you over.

You’re adorably gap toothed. We’re seeing more and more of those little teeth and they make your face, if possible even more adorable than before. You kick your legs with delight anytime something amuses you. I know this sounds mad but you definitely have a sense of humour and I know you love to be wound up. Your favourite game is when I pull your dummy out of your mouth and pop it in mine and you pull it back. You smile as soon as it starts to happen because you know I’m teasing you. You also love it when I count to three because it’s usually followed by something fun- like coming down a slide or being thrown (gently) on to the bed- so now you start to laugh even when you just hear me say oooooooonnnnne!

If you may indulge me in some narcissism I love how much you love me. I face timed you for the first time in months the other day and you were beside yourself with joy- last time I tired you cried because you couldn’t understand it and now your giggling because you can see me! When you’re happy your whole body shows it. Last night I came home from the theatre and peaked at you through the window and you squealed and shook with delight. Funny to think that one-day you won’t necessarily want to spend all your time with me. That sometimes you’ll just want some space from me- I hope you don’t want to spend all your time away from me! I’m grateful that the teenage years are along way off and now you want to be by my side as much as you can. Having said that you are an adventurer. I just left you for what felt like a second and suddenly I realise you’re up the bloody stairs! Even though it’s pretty hard work I really love your independence and admire your explorers spirit. I hope I help you to keep hold of it. I can imagine us travelling together even when you’re a grown up!

Is it a tiny tree or a giant baby

I’m very rarely annoyed with you but there is one thing that drives me up the wall. You scream blue murder every single time I change you. Nappies you will try and scramble away from but putting clothes on you is a total nightmare. It’s like I’m subjecting you to agonising trauma!!!! Also and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only mother to have ever felt this way, why won’t you just go to sleep???? You fight it like crazy and the tricks that used to work seem to be going out of the window. So it used to be if I lay you on your side, snuggled with you and patted your little nappy you’d fall to sleep. Now that works for about 2 seconds before you’re irritable and restless. You need darkness, which makes sense because so do I and I’m scared to say, like me, you seem to like distractions and entertainment right up to the edge of sleep, which makes it a huge job to get you to settle. This is just for naps. At night you’re pretty good really, you let me know when you’re ready and then you sleep not long after that!

Adventures since last I wrote: Well the big ones must be in the movement department. At 8 months and 3 weeks you started walking by yourself and now you’re a pro. You walk, you run, you navigate around tripping hazards and most of the time you win. You can do the stairs both up and now even starting to come down backwards. You have real shoes now and although you were not sure before you’re starting to get used to them. Outside of all your physical skills there’s been a lot happening too. We moved out of your first home and in the process you fell off the sofa and onto a wooden frame and scratched your beautiful face. You hit me with a candelabra and scratched my beautiful face, Daddy is yet unscathed so we better make him next on the agenda. You had a whitehead that lasted a life time (6 weeks) before I popped it and its still there a bit (not sure that counts as an adventure!) we lived with Nanny and Grandpa for 6 weeks while we waited to move in to our new place and we slept cuddled up on the floor so you couldn’t fall off any beds. You saw snow for the first time and played in it with Mummy and Daddy. We had two visits up to see Grandad and Grandma’s house and one of them was Christmas. Santa brought you a crazy amount of presents and so did everyone else you know. It was a lovely few days and very exciting for us to see you light up with every new gift and get more magic out of it all than we ever expected. We brought in the new year with songs and laughter and we walked around Blenheim palace at night to watch all their gardens light up. We’ve seen the arrival of 5 new teeth, and we went to Center Parcs with new friends for the great outdoors and log fires. We moved into our new house, with our very own garden- on your first day their you undressed yourself and crawled outside in the nude, in January. A true Nature boy. We got very sad news about your grandpa and spent lots of time in the hospital again but this time we could walk away each night, which was one good thing. You appeared for the first time on stage- In your nappy because you got too hot in the amazing 1930’s outfit I brought you. You joined me and grandpa for a song- together at last and it was lovely to have you up there with us- though we hope you don’t go getting too many ideas. We’ve had lots of trips out and met up with lots of friends. You got to meet baby Marley for the first time- a life long friend, you can take under your wing. And Last but by no means least you’ve had a birthday!!!!! I will write a separate post about that I think! So that leads us to now! Sitting here watching you play with a plug extension. Wondering for the zillionth time if I’m cut out for this job looking at bigger boys walking by the window thinking how quickly you’ll be their age and how different things will be then. Hearing you sing a little made up song and feeling like I must be doing something right.

Weight: We need to get you weighed again- I can't even remember the last weight. Daddy has it written down I think. 

Food: You are getting more of an eating routine although you're still reliant on milk. You like raspberries and gherkins, cucumber is still a winner, rice noodles, tofu, anything I give you you'll have a good go at. i still want to get you into better eating habits but putting you into the high chair seems to work a treat. 

Medicine: Calpol for teething sometimes the toothy powder too. 

Hours of sleep:about 4 and 4 at night with a little break in the middle for a bottle. nap times can run anywhere from 2+ hours to 5 minutes! 

Favourite toy: You love your stacking cups and anything that makes a noise. Father Christmas got you lots of instruments for christmas and you like them. You love the singing parrot and you've really been enjoying a book with felt flaps that I bought you for your first birthday. 

Habits: saying "ooooooooooh" all the time like something fun but naughty is happening., walking around with stuff that isn't yours. Pressing the home button on everyones phones. You don't slam your head into mine anymore but you do grab faces. You love to gently grab a tuft of hair in your hand over and over when your sleepy. 

Favourite thing to watch: Its still songs. Our big favourite is always Tomato the musical where elmo pretends to be a farmer. 

My favourite thing:Watching your sense of humour grow and knowing how to make you laugh

Daddy’s favourite thing: Watching you become more familiar with every day life like knowing not to touch the radiator. Knowing that we don't make random sounds and that all the sounds you make are to communicate something with us. 

Your Crush: Still Lisa!!!

Teeth: 8- four on the top four on the bottom! 

Hair:A full round blondey bowl! 

Clothes: You've just moved up a clothes size so its a sad time saying goodbye to old favourites. I love the little teal and grey and yellow all in one. And you're little blue jumper which probably won't fit much longer. Got a few nice things now though- especially a little set of short onesies I brought you. Plus you have your first proper pair of shoes. 

Nicknames: Teddy is technically a nickname but its still very much your name. You also get called all the other nicknames. I know lisa calls you a little monster too which is very cute. 

Holidays:Been to see Grandma and Grandad twice more and Center Parcs again. Not enough! But Daddy's finally got your passport sorted so watch this space! 

Skills:Stairs, tripping and recovering quickly, pincer grip is in full force. spoon feeding yourself. Throwing a ball. clapping, waving, high fiving, putting his hand to his mouth to indicate where food goes, singing in tune, composing his own little songs constantly, squeezing down the smallest possible gaps. 

Dummy: Yes and no signs of it going anywhere. 

Best thing that’s happened since I last wrote: Watching his engineers mind take on the world. Everything needs to be investigated and understood and moved from one place to another. Also from my perspective, it's nice to start to feel a bit more confidence in my parenting abilities and not feeling so absolutely lost in my emotions. More on that in another post I feel.

First photo taken just after the last blog and second photo is him as I'm writing. 

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